Jan. 9th, 2009

runiclaw: (Default)

As the Wheels move and the rivers flow we are cast about in a whorl wind that we call Life. This something i have been working on regaining for a long time. I have tried many times in the past 8 years to get back on track. Each time I do it because I Know I need to but in the end i break again and fall back down the well. For the first time since then I Feel ready and They seem to agree. Over the past few days of this New Year it has been one thing after another. I have gotten a new job that is paying me fairly well. That alone was a wonderful thing that had me dancing. But then everything started changing. For once it was for the better. Shockingly so. It started with going to a club one night with Batt, Josiphine and Mike. was the standard night of me playing corner watcher when people who for a long time that have hated me started coming up to say hay and some even gave me a hug. Shocked me stupid. Now I am not a person who holds a grudge. I just back off and give them space as I do not like to cause drama. At one point a lass I have known for a while but always seemed kind of distant comes up and give me a hug and starts introducing me to her friends. Then she takes me to the dance floor. "Lass I don't dance" I told her but she just smiled and took me out any how. The music changed to a eastern style of rhythm. And I started dancing. Ok, my moves do not compare to some I know out there (Matt) but I was having a blast. Long go dance was something I Loved. I danced with the renn group every chance I could. Same with singing. Something I am Not good at but I like it and makes me happy. When the dance was over she gave me a hug and for once in 8 years I Felt alive. Is very hard to explain but that started a cascade of things. That night I was sitting at my computer thinking about things and looking at the card my old priestess had given me the night I left England. I was thinking I should try and write her and see how she was doing and ask for aid in finding my path again. The next thing I know I have a friends request from her on face book. That was the last piece I needed. Next week I start working out with a trainer twice a week with a goal of dropping 50 lbs by my birthday (oct 17). I enrolled in Dervy to get my BA in tech integrations admin. Just to name a few. it sounds corny but for once again I can see the Light in me life and Know I am here again with a purpose.

To those who have kept me moving and alive for these past 8 years i can never show you how much your friendship has meant to me. To those who stand with me now it is going to be an interesting ride.


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